Can i recess a metal firepit into a solid oak table without the table burning from the conductive heat ?

Try making a ring out of aluminum pipe or copper pipe maybe 1/2" pipe, big enough to fit loosly around the fire pit under the flange. Lay the pipe ring flat on a table and drill many holes in the top side and one large hole. Before lighting the fire pit, fill the pipe with water. The water will keep the pipe below 212 F or 100 C. You may need a skirt of aluminum between the inside of the wooden hole and the outside of the pit under the flange. Hang the skirt down about 2" below the bottom of the table. Maybe use copper and silver solder it to the pipe ring?